JOKES N SHAYARI

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

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Q: Who's senior: Penis or Vagina?
A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honour.
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Sex poetry: It's not the length, it's not the size, it's not how many times u can make it rise. It's not how well it fits, but how late it spits.
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Skoda recently launched a new car model LAURA. All drivers are having a tough time when theor Memsahibs say: Driver Laura Nikalo!
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The first day at the London sperm bank was pretty unsuccessful. Only three men made appointments and, of those, one came on the bus and the other two missed the tube.
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All eggs in women decided to fight against sperms. They waited with guns in the pussy. That night no one came. Suddenly 1 shouted: Hamla Peeche se hua hai...
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What is Long & Hard, has a hole at the tip and when u insert it into a wet, hairy & tight hole makes u feel better?
Vicks Inhaler
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When u don't know whether to luv or hate, when u r in confused state, don't feel and don't debate, just sit alone & ...... MASTURBATE
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Whenever u feel low, depressed or useless, remember that u r the same sperm that won a battle against a million others.
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Cricketer describing a nude girl:
There is no cover, there is no extra cover, there 2 silly points, 2 fine legs & a deep gully, with little grass on the pitch.
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What is invisible sex?
A male Negro fucking a female Negro under moonless night in a coal mine wearing a black condom.
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A friend like u is not like boobs coz everyone sucks them. Not like vagina coz it tears. You r like a penis coz it always stands when needed.
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1)Nasha jaruri hai zindagi kliye, par sirf sharab hi nahi hai bekhudi k liye, kisi ki mast nigahon me doob jaae dost, bada hasi samundar hai khudkushi kliye.
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2) Na kashti hai na kinara hai koi, na manzil na sahara hai koi, na aansu hai na kushi ka ishara hai koi, par aap hai to lagta hai hamara hai koi.
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3)Bhula na sako ge mujhe bhoolkar tum, mai aksar tumhe yaad aata rahunga. Kabhi khwab ban kar kabhi yaad bankar, main ninde tumhari churata rahunga.
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4)Dekho aawaz dekar, paas hamme paoge, aaoge tanha par tanha na jaoge, dur rahkar bhi tumhi par hai nazar meri, hathon se tham lenge jabbhi thokar khaoge
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5)Pucho na us kagaz se jis pe hum dil k bayan likhte hai. Tanhayi me beeti baate tamam likhte hai. Woh Kalam bhi diwani hogayi jisse hum AAP ka Naam likhte hai
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6) Wo kahin b rahen sar pe uske ilzaam to hai, uske hathon ki lakiron me mera naam to hai, wo mujhe apna banaye ya na banaye zamane me mere naam se woh badnam to hai
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7)Na Misaal milegi Tere Husn ke iss Kayanat me, tu itni kashish bhari Khoobsorti kahan se Le aye hai Labo pe Maikhane, Ankho me Paymane, khuda Jane Aaj kis kiski Shammat Aye Hai
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8)Dekh k logo ko, socha ishq hum b karle phir bewafao ko dekh socha, thoda sabrr karle jaan gawante dekh is daldalme kaio ko, socha patli gali se hum nikalle.
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9)Aap itna yaad na karo humko, kahi hum chheenko se pareshan na ho jaye. Yaad to hum bhi aapko bahut karte hain, Par darte hain, ke kahi aapko zukaam na ho jaye
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10)Apne dil ki baat unse keh nahi sakte, Bin kahe bhi ji nahi sakte 'Ae Khuda aisi takdir bana, wo humse khud akar kahe 'HUM' Apke bina Reh nahi sakte.
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11) "It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a life time to forget someone "Be in touch"...

"There is a Law that man should love his neighbor as himself. In a few years it should be as natural to mankind as breathing or the upright gait; but if he does not learn it he must perish."
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If there is anything better than to be loved it is loving.
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If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.
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Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything."
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"Love is a fan club with only two fans."
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Love is the only game that is not called on account of darkness."
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You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her."
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"Among those whom I like, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh."
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It is impossible to love and be wise."
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Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."
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"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
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Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock."
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I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love."
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Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."
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How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.I love thee to the depth and breadth and heightMy soul can reach, when feeling out of sightFor the ends of Being and ideal Grace.I love thee to the level of everyday'sMost quiet need, by sun and candle-light.I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.I love thee with the passion put to useIn my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.I love thee with a love I seemed to loseWith my lost saints, -I love thee with the breath,Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,I shall but love thee better after death."
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The cure for all ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrows and the crimes of humanity, all lie in the one word 'love.' It is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life."
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"When poverty comes in at doors, love leaps out at windows."
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Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in love there is a sort of antipathy, or opposing passion. Each strives to be the other, and both together make up one whole."
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Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never."
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"If you cannot inspire a woman with love of you, fill her above the brim with love of herself; all that runs over will be yours."
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Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love - and to put its trust in life."
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lovers alone wear sunlight"
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Love is a sickness full of woes, All remedies refusing;A plant that with most cutting grows, Most barren with best using."
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Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great."
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Love builds bridges where there are none."
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The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end."
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We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end."
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Come live with me, and be my love,And we will some new pleasures proveOf golden sands, and crystal brooks,With silken lines, and silver hooks."

gift of goodmorning
Receive my simple gift of goodmorning wrapped with sincerity, tied with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long! Take Care!

The sun had rised from the east
The sun had rised from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u..

Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Gd Morning
Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Gd Morning, it has asilent message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day!

Gud Morning
A true friend is not like the rain which pours & goes away. A true friend is like the air. Sometimes silent but always around u. Gud Morning

Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA
You r my sweet SONA I don't want u KHONA I want a place in your heart's KONA Otherwise i will start RONA Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA

Your soul came back
Your soul came back from dreamland re-united with a sleeping senseless piece of yourself slowly open ur eyes realize its a brand new day. Good Morning.

The sun rises into the sky
The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile, he wishes you a good morning, hoping that you have the perfect day. Take care & miss you. Gd morning

The Word 'Hello' means
The Word 'Hello' means H=How R U? E=Everything all right? L=Like 2 hear 4rm U. L=Love 2 C U soon. O=Obviously, I miss you! Good Morning my freind

Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Gd Morning
Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Good Morning, it has a silent message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day!

Receive my simple gift
Hello, wakup, Receive my simple gift of 'GOOD MORNING' wrapped with sincerity, tied with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long! Take Care!

gd morning to start your day
A night hug warms the heart, a night kiss brightens the day, and a gd morning to start your day!

morning has come in a special way
Night has ended for another day, morning has come in a special way. May you smile like the sunny rays and leaves your worries at the blue blue bay.

I just love when morning gets here
I just love when morning gets here, cuz i can send a Great Big Good Morning sms to my bestest friend.what a lovely way to start my day

I try to be best friend
I try to Beeee the best friend i can beeeee, so here u go, some Goodmorning flowers right to you from meeeeeee.

Goodmorning to youuuuuuuuuuuu
Cockacoladuuuuuu, Refreshed and newwwwwwwwwwww, skies are bluuuuuuuuuuuu, Goodmorning to youuuuuuuuuuuuuu

May you begin this day
May you begin this day with a smile on your face, and with happiness for your soul to embrace. Good Morning my love

With petals of Roses
With petals of Roses,Palm full of Holly water,Light of Full Sun,Fragrance of Flower and Grass with dew.I wish u a very special Good Morning....